“Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow.” ― Lawrence Clark Powell
People that thrive in relationships do two things very well:
- They communicate effectively when they’re happy.
- They communicate effectively when they’re upset.
Now, you are probably wondering…
“How do we communicate when one of us is upset?”
The Venus Talk
1. Ask for your partners full attention for 10 minutes. That’s all.
When a someone has a goal in sight, and can see the finish line, it’s easier to listen, but you must only take 10 minutes not 3 hours!
2. Let them know that you would like to share your feelings with and what it will provide for you. For example, it makes you feel closer and it will make you feel better.
No blaming or criticisms!
Also, they do not need to remember all the details of your story.
When a someone has direction for how to make you feel better, it gives them the confidence to just sit and listen.
A man in love wants to help you feel better.
3. Tell them you don’t want any solutions to your problems because listening is a solution in itself.
The act of listening allows a woman to feel that she is not facing her problems alone — she has a partner, she has support, she is not alone. These feelings trigger calming hormones in the body.
4. Thank them for listening.
Gratitude brings the two of you together after your intimate sharing. This positive feedback also communicates that they did a great job. If a person knows they are good at a job, they will be more enthusiastic about doing it again.
In the meantime, as a person learns to listen better and a woman learns to communicate her needs better, there needs to be room for mistakes.
If your partner is not capable of meeting your needs as a listener right away, then you need to look to your friends for that particular kind of support and intimacy, but never stop talking and expressing yourself because it will be the death of your bright light in this world.
What I want to do with my coaching is to make a difference to as many people as possible. If you take what you have learned today and use it in your own life and with your family and friends, then you and I will have made a difference to more than just the people reading this insight.
If you are ready to start your coaching journey, get in touch with me for a complimentary coaching call to see if working with a coach is right for you.
Stay safe, be well, folks!
Emily
